Such is Life

My name is Janille. 21 years of age. In love. Currently residing in Toronto, Canada. Writing is my passion.

And this --this is where everything is written down.
This is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about.

December 10, 2012 at 12:20am
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December 10, 2012

It’s weird how things from the past just come back and haunt you.

During the time when my grandma passed away, I was getting ready for my midterms. I’ve been thinking about her lately. A lot. I think it’s because I’ve been studying for my finals and it just brought me back to the time when I found out she passed away.

Last night, I had a dream about a snake and for some reason, I didn’t think anything of it until now. It’s so strange how when I got up, I just shrugged it off and went on with my day. But now that I’ve forgotten almost everything about that dream, it just comes back to me. Here’s what I learned from snake dreams (yes, I often research dream interpretations):

"A snake can appear in your dreams as an animal spirit guide or animal totem, bringing guidance about life direction and healing opportunities."

Thinking about it now, I believe wholeheartedly that it was about my grandma. My brother has been telling me lately that he’s been dreaming about my grandma. It’s about healing and changes in life. 

I miss you grandma, and I just want to let you know that I’ll be okay.

November 22, 2012 at 1:47am
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November 22, 2012

I haven’t blogged in a really long time. My life has been very…redundant. I really didn’t have much to say. But today was pretty interesting.

Today, we had our negotiation simulation. This is when I realized that I will never be good for law school. I’m so bad at trying to win a case. I had to wake up extra early because the negotiation was at 8. 

Anyways, mood swings all around this morning. I was really upset mainly because of my period. Honestly, I was so bitchy today. Sometimes it’s so hard to control myself when I’m on my period. I go through a series of emotional highs and lows. Sometimes I would randomly break down and start crying for no reason. Is that even normal? I think I need to get checked…I might be…going…insane.

The worst part is, I tend to take it out on the people around me. And I feel so horrible about it later on. My boyfriend probably thinks I’m a psycho for attempting to break up with him several times today…because of…my period. LOL. Let’s not talk about that. 

But I managed to get on with my day like a normal person. My mood swings went away and I went to volunteer. All my kids this semester are Filipino girls. They are so cute. It was actually fun. The whole time, I’ve been slacking and didn’t want to go. I missed 5 weeks of volunteer but now that I know the kids, I think I’ll be more consistent with my volunteering. 

Anyways, I’ve been trying to do my homework for so long now but my cramps won’t go away. I’m gonna try to sleep it off.

Goodnight.

November 5, 2012 at 9:24pm
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZeEJ24RF3M →

Tristan Prettyman is such an amazing artist. Your loss, Jason Mraz.

9:15pm
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November 5, 2012

Well today was a little bit less stressful for me because another extended assignment is done, so I can finally get that out of the way.

In two weeks, I will be busy as ever and will probably have no time to start my early Christmas shopping. Not that I would be able to anyways, since I still have to pay my  credit card bill and won’t be spending any money until November 16! It bums be out because I wanted to start my Christmas shopping really early this year, but with school and debt on the way, I won’t be able to!

Plus, I wanted to put up the Christmas tree today but my house is still (and will always be) a mess! God, there’s so many papers lying around my house, it’s quite annoying! 

Not feeling the spirit of Christmas yet since it’s so busy, but I can’t wait until it’s all over and I can just cozy up and wear Christmas sweaters! My friends and I already drew names for Secret Santa today so hopefully that will get things rolling…

But for now, I have to worry about school and my debts.

2 weeks of not spending money! Can I survive?

November 3, 2012 at 10:12pm
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November 3, 2012

I can’t believe it’s almost been a month since my grandmother passed away. I miss her more than ever but I really feel in my heart that she is in a better place now. They say that when you die, your soul remains on earth for 40 days. Sometimes I still feel like my grandma is here, but we’re gradually just moving on with our lives without her. It’s hard but it’s part of life.

But I will never forget her.

:)

November 2, 2012 at 11:51pm
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November 2, 2012

Back in high school, I remember listening to this song all the time with my eyes closed.

This song is so beautiful and today, I overheard someone talking about M83 and it brought me back to this feeling.

You know how some people hate it when other people find out about the artist that they are listening to because apparently, they found them first?

I never felt like that ever about music.

Music keeps us sane, and it keeps us together.

I’m really happy that M83’s music is becoming really well-known now.

They make such beautiful music.

October 31, 2012 at 1:27am
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October 31, 2012

I officially hate studying. 

I’m so drained. 

October 29, 2012 at 2:10am
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I have to admit, this song speaks to me. 

About two years ago, when Aaron and I were only friends, we were studying and I left my scarf at his place.

He came to see me the next day, telling me he wanted to be with me, but he couldn’t.

It was such a long history of trying to figure things out. 

But I’m glad it all worked out in the end.

Another sleepless night listening to a Taylor Swift song. I hate her, but I like her.

October 26, 2012 at 1:10am
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October 26, 2012

Haven’t blogged in awhile. While everyone’s on break for reading week, it’s been so busy for me this week. I had to write all my make-up tests in the assessment centre (which by the way, costs $10 per midterm, another way for the College to take all my money). Anyways, just the other day, I pulled an all-nighter for a make-up test and the next day, I went to the assessment centre early in the morning to write it, but it wasn’t available for me to write. The professor is responsible for booking the tests at the centre and sending in the tests themselves, and my professor for that particular class sent me a message last week that it will be available. I was very upset about this because I had no sleep whatsoever and didn’t even get to write the exam.  Anyways, today, I finally wrote it so I have two more to write. I’m writing one tomorrow and I heard it’s really easy so I just started studying about an hour ago. I really hope it’s easy because I’ve been getting such low marks in all my classes, I don’t quite believe it. 

Today was a pretty good day. I went to write the test, which I only spend a little less than an hour on, so I’m very worried I didn’t write enough or something. Then Aaron and I went to Miga after and had Korean food as usual. I came home and I just passed out until 10. 

And now I’m studying. I can’t believe I’m not freaking out for this.

October 24, 2012 at 7:55am
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October 24, 2012

Another sleepless night. 

I got home from work last night dead tired, but I knew I had to study. So after talking to my boyfriend on the phone, I started cramming for my midterm - which by the way, is my own choice to write today. Yes, I know I am too hard on myself but I have two more midterms to write after this, and two major assignments, so I really need to write all of these midterms asap. Anyways, I started studying and after that, I just couldn’t fall asleep anymore. I don’t think my body clock is fixed. I thought it was because I had such a good night sleep yesterday, but no. Yesterday, I kept falling asleep while studying during daytime and I guess that’s why I couldn’t sleep last night. And the worst part is, I’m falling asleep now - approximately one hour before I write this midterm…